Size: Twenty minutes is good.
Age: No less than 2,000: “siesta” is derived from the Roman “sexta hora”.
Don’t inform me – we’re speaking a few new feelgood summer season sleep present hosted by Phillip Schofield and Fearne Cotton, the place dozy Brits compete to win an absurdly costly mattress? No, we’re speaking a few radio interview with Peter Andre who, presumably drawing on his Greek Cypriot heritage, has been attempting to influence the federal government to make siestas a part of British working life.
However we have already got naps. What’s the distinction? Siestas are sexier, all gently billowing linen curtains and chirping cicadas. A nap is what you make a toddler have after it throws a fishfinger at you.
However we’re nonetheless speaking a few brief sleep after lunch, aren’t we? Sure. Andre’s argument is that napping improves productiveness. Science agrees: analysis reveals siestas enhance response time and reasoning, reminiscence and temper, lowering impulsivity and frustration. Silicon Valley is mad for nap pods and sleep nooks.
However making us all take government-mandated naps can be a reasonably literal interpretation of the nanny state: don’t the Tories hate that? True, although as you might recall, very like Winston Churchill, Gwyneth Paltrow and Albert Einstein, our esteemed prime minister is reported to be a daily napper, an allegation rejected as “unfaithful” by his press secretary.
Hmm. If he's, it hasn’t carried out wonders for his impulsivity, has it? No, and as Andre himself famous, Johnson “does look loads of the time as if he's sleeping whereas standing up”.
So is the federal government now taking productiveness recommendation from the seventh-placed contestant on 2015’s Strictly Come Dancing? Stranger issues have occurred, however no. Downing Avenue was reportedly having none of Andre’s decadent continental methods. Apparently, officers thought the Brits can be extra prone to spend their siesta time ingesting. “‘Once they go the pub they will have fairly just a few drinks and they don't seem to be going to return again to work within the afternoon,’” Andre reported his unnamed Downing Avenue interlocutor had advised him. “That was their reasoning … that the Brits will go to the pub.”
Nicely, wants should: we don’t all have a wheely suitcase stuffed with booze stashed subsequent to the submitting cupboard. Precisely. Not everybody can depend on “work occasions” to get our day by day items in.
I’m glad it’s not occurring. I hate naps: you get up groggy, dishevelled and sticky-mouthed, then stagger round angrily like a wounded bear. Are you positive you’re not already mistaking sleepy time for 3 swift pints?
Do say: “Sorry, we will’t accommodate your vacation request, however how about quarter-hour within the company nap pod?”
Don’t say: “In the event that they didn’t need us to drink, they shouldn’t have made it rhyme with fiesta.”
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