Britney Spears has described her music hiatus as a ‘f**k you’ to her family after her conservatorship ordeal.
The Toxic singer was freed from the 13-year controversial court order in November, and teased that she had new songs on the way for the first time in years.
She previously called out her family members for their involvement in her conservatorship and not getting her out of it, as well as their behavior during her struggles.
In a new, lengthy Instagram post, the 40-year-old said that she was left ‘screaming inside’ when she was told that she couldn’t perform new songs and remixes of her older tracks – but sister Jamie-Lynn was given that access.
Discussing her relationship with faith, she penned: ‘I had an experience three years ago where I stopped believing In God!!!! From every angle I was being hurt for no reason and my family was hurting me… I went into a state of shock and the way I coped was being fake denial.. it was too much to really face.
‘It then came full circle and my heart took over and I was lion… not a very nice one at all…. but I screamed alone a lot and I kept all that pain to myself!!!! They say go to the source for healing…. the person who hurt you… go to them and tell them… I’ve never gotten to do that. I chose the fake denial “everything’s totally fine” approach because I didn’t want to cause conflict.
‘I was NICE, FAKE and I was absolutely screaming inside….. I wanted to be nice but what they did to my heart was unforgivable!!!!! I asked for 13 years to perform new songs and remixes of my old songs…. I had two months off in between each show settings for four years in Vegas… and every time I asked I was told “No…”!!!!!
‘It was a set up to make me fail yet I knew exactly what I wanted my fans to see and it didn’t make sense how network television shows are showcasing my music with remixes of all of my music…. yet the person who owns the music is told no!!!! They even gave remixes to my sister but why was I always told no?’
Britney continued: ‘So much wasted time to only embarrass me and humiliate me and I quess it seems odd to most now why I don’t even do my music anymore… that’s just the surface issues. People have no idea the awful things that were done to me personally… and after what I’ve been through, I’m scared of people and the business!!!!
‘They really hurt me!!!!!! Not doing my music anymore is my way of saying “F**k You” in a sense when it only actually benefits my family by ignoring my real work… It’s like I’ve subconsciously let them win…’
The mum-of-two has been loving life after being freed from her conservatorship, which meant her father Jamie had control of her personal, medical and financial decisions for over a decade.
She went on to explain that her faith in God was tested at points during her ordeal, and she had ‘given up hope’ at some points.
Recalling a recent post where she praised herself for her accomplishments, Britney vowed to focus on what makes her happy, and push herself further in the next year.
‘I obviously have serious insecurities..,’ she added. ‘Otherwise I wouldn’t have acted like an obnoxious 8 year old last week defending myself with my accomplishments!!!!
‘Honestly my family embarrassed me and hurt me deeply… So tooting my own horn and seeing my past accomplishments reflecting back at me actually helped!!!!
‘To the outside world it must seem like I’m extremely insecure and if people really knew what I went through, I think they would understand COMPLETELY where I’m coming from!!!!’
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