The pandemic has thrown our friendships into the spotlight.
Many of us have drifted apart from some pals and become even closer with others, after realising we shouldn’t be taking our loved ones for granted.
However, while we are often quick to call out bad behaviour in friendship groups – whether it’s a mate who hasn’t backed us or someone who has let us down – what about what we could be doing ourselves to be better friends?
It turns out there are a number of ways to have more meaningful friendships – and ones that will last longer, as a result.
Psychologist Emma Kenny delves into some simple things to keep in mind.
Honesty is best policy
Even when it can be really tough, it’s always better to be honest – rather than lie.
‘Really great friends don’t lie to appease their mates, or avoid having difficult conversations because they know what they have to say will be painful to hear,’ explains Emma.
‘This creates a foundation of authenticity and trust, which is the basis for a long-lasting relationship.’
Be there, always
Whether it’s a hard breakup, family problems or work drama, it’s vital to be there for friends when they are having a difficult time.
Emma adds: ‘Make sure you show up during the most challenging of times because this is when you’re needed most and why you’ll be respected and loved.
‘It can be hard to be around someone who is grieving, depressed, angry or lost – but a true friend will weather the storm beside them.’
Push each other
Bring out new sides to one another by pushing each other.
‘Challenge each other to try new things by setting goals and holding one another to account,’ adds Emma.
‘This makes life interesting and means your relationship is ever-growing and full of fun.’
Try to understand
Emma stresses that it’s important to practice acceptance, as opposed to judgment – even when we don’t agree.
This is because if someone feels judged, they are likely to push you away.
‘We all think the advice we give is good advice, but the art of being a great friend involves accepting that our friends need to make their own decisions – even when we think they are the wrong ones,’ Emma adds.
‘When things go wrong, encourage them to figure out how they can learn from the experience, as opposed to saying “I told you so.”‘
Show commitment
It’s crucial to make time for friends – a period where you can fully focus on each other, with no distractions. This quality time will help with bonding and connection.
‘Life is full of distractions and this can mean that good friendships suffer,’ adds Emma. ‘Make a commitment to see each other regularly and stick to that schedule. When you meet up pay attention to what’s going on in one another’s lives so that the time you share is quality.’
Call, don’t text
Taking time to call someone can, quite literally, make a person’s day. It also makes a friend feel special.
‘Instead of texting, make sure you pick up your phone and give them a call because research proves that talking regularly encourages and promotes bonding behaviour – whereas texting can make the recipient feel unimportant,’ continues Emma.
Don’t get sour
While it’s a completely natural feeling, jealousy can also be a dangerous – so it’s important not to let it get in the way of a friendship.
Emma says: ‘It can be hard to remain a cheerleader in your bestie’s life when they seem to be going from strength to strength – particularly if your life isn’t moving at the same pace.
‘This kind of toxicity can ruin the greatest of friendships and the only antidote is to be happy for them.
‘Instead of feeling envious, use their success as a motivator for yours and ask them to give you insight to how they have achieved their goals so you can do the same.’
Plan ahead
Emma suggests getting stuff in the diary in advance, so you always have something to look forward to and know when you’ll be seeing each other next.
Locking in these future dates and activities will make friends feel more valued.
Keep things positive
‘When you are together, try not to be negative about others behind their backs as, while the two of you may love a gossip, you may actually undermine trust in the relationship you have with one another,’ adds Emma.
While it can be tempting to talk about other people, it’s a good idea to avoid bitchy behaviour – as a friend might worry you’re doing the same to them.
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@Metro.co.uk.
Post a Comment