What is it about hair – or a scarcity of it – that brings out the unhealthy puns? ‘Bald information’, ‘Chopping remarks’ and ‘Dwelling lets its hair down’ on consecutive pages? Even the quilt of the Observer Journal of 27 February 1983 (‘The lengthy and the in need of it’) was at it.
Certainly lockdown has introduced severe challengers to ‘the longest beard, now preserved within the Smithsonian Establishment, Washington, that after belonged to Hans Langseth and measured 17.5ft at his demise in 1927’. Likewise the longest British moustache – 68.5in– sported by John Roy of Weeley, Clacton. Much less of a handlebar and extra of a spiral-horned antelope.
One of many articles reported that ‘washing-up liquid is a horrible thought, say trichologists. It rubs the cuticles up the flawed manner and leaves the hair very fuzzy-looking’. Not ‘mushy as your face’ then, as Fairy Liquid mentioned on the time?
‘Hat designer Stephen Jones is bald by selection. Not solely does he discover his hairless type a refreshing problem to conference however, by making his head smaller, it additionally allows him to attempt on his designs for such well-known names as Jerry Corridor and Grace Jones.’ Positive, Stephen.
Onerous not to think about Billy Connolly’s routine when speak turns to jojoba, ‘the newest marvel ingredient for including some lustre – derived from a shrub grown primarily in Arizona and Mexico and a pure substitute for sperm whale oil’. Presumably not for the sperm whale, although.
There have been some deeper factors, too. ‘Mass unemployment’s bred its personal type,’ argued one piece. ‘The punk says, “If nobody will give me a job, why ought to I look as if I’ve obtained one?” And girls and boys cropped, backcombed, bleached, dyed and harnessed their hair again in homage to artifice and outrage. Cash is tight and DIY has come into its personal in hair simply because it has with clothes.’ Lastly, they obtained to the basis of the issue.
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