Painters and Dockers on their worst gig: a man stormed in with a machete

By far our most memorable and worst gig was the primary one, on 23 October 1982. Billy Walsh, who was then in an early model of the Cosmic Psychos known as Spring Plains, had run up all these parking fines. So my buddy organised a gig to make the cash again. Bass participant Phil Nelson and I have been simply studying the best way to play, however he mentioned “Let’s get a band collectively, we’ll get extra individuals there.”

In order that was why the band began – to play Invoice Walsh’s parking fines. It was alleged to be a one-off present.

On the time, Hunters & Collectors have been the good band on the town, and I wished a piss-take of their identify – one thing AND one thing else – so my buddy Tess, now my spouse, goes, “How concerning the Painters and Dockers?” as a joke. And I mentioned, “That’s it!” On the time, there was a royal fee into the Federated Ship Painters and Dockers Union, as a result of some members had actually been knocking one another off.

Painters and Dockers at their first ever rehearsal: (L-R) Paul Stewart, Chris O’Connor, Phil Nelson, Vladimir Juric and Paul Roberts.
Painters and Dockers at their first-ever rehearsal: (L-R) Paul Stewart, Chris O’Connor, Phil Nelson, Vladimir Juric and Paul Roberts.

Our singer Paulie Stewart ended up within the band on the final minute. He met Phil on the Prahran market and instructed him he may play trumpet. Mainly, anybody we knew who mentioned they may play something was in. We didn’t have a drummer, so Invoice performed for Painters and Dockers and Spring Plains that night time. He was so fucked that in one of many songs he simply stopped taking part in – his arms have been so drained he couldn’t sustain.

We performed the gig at a pub known as the Rising Solar in Port Melbourne. What we didn’t know was that this was the place members of the particular Painters and Dockers Union used to drink. I bear in mind my eldest brother saying to me, “You’ve received to vary your identify. These guys don’t fuck round, they’ll kill you!” However whereas we have been taking part in, one among them walked in (the group parted just like the Purple Sea) and gave us all a beer, so then I believed, OK, we’re not gonna die.

Video for Die Yuppie Die from Painters and Dockers’ 1988 album Kiss My Artwork

Sadly, a person who lived close by received the shits with the noise so got here in with a machete and began chopping up the blending desk as a result of he wished us to cease taking part in. Six divvy vans turned up, lower the entire avenue off, and the entire pub evacuated in two minutes. We have been working down the road with our amplifiers making an attempt to get out of there. It was insane.

The following morning my mate went to the pub so we may receives a commission. It was most likely about 5 or 6 hundred bucks – sufficient to pay Billy’s fines – however the proprietor on the time mentioned, “Oh, there’s been a bit of injury, let’s simply name it even.”

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