After 30 years of great sex, my husband’s new look is a total turn-off

My husband of greater than 30 years determined to develop his hair lengthy about three years in the past. Intercourse has all the time been essential to us and I've all the time felt strongly sexually drawn to him. However he's 59, with skinny, superb gray hair and, so far as I'm involved, this isn't a superb look. I’m struggling to take care of our earlier spark. Am I simply utterly shallow and unreasonable to permit a small visible distinction get in the best way of a beforehand energetic and loving intimacy? Maybe the difficulty is mine – I’m 51 and menopausal. Do different individuals expertise this when one accomplice undergoes a big bodily change? Any strategies on the right way to handle this is able to be appreciated; clearly he's his personal man and if he likes the best way he seems, I can’t change that.

We are able to’t rationalise our means out of effectively established visible preferences. And maybe you might be somebody who occurs to be very a lot visually attuned. Some individuals reply extra to erotic sounds and dialog, whereas others are turned on by scents and smells. You may wish to gently request a change. Alternatively, lowered need can be a pure side of menopause, and dwindling hormones – relatively than lengthy hair – is perhaps the wrongdoer. Along with your doctor, contemplate choices to spice up your libido.

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual problems.

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