Quite a bit has been stated about Wayne Rooney’s superb courtroom accent the previous week, as he accompanied spouse Coleen to the ‘Wagatha Christie’ trial introduced by Rebekah Vardy.
We’re speaking, in fact, about his manbag.
This superb piece of leatherwear first emerged from the depths of showbiz obscurity into the intense lights of the Royal Courts of Justice in London final Tuesday, on day one of many authorized battle (carried by Coleen, we must always observe – earlier than she handed it to Wayne from Might 12), and since then it’s captured the hearts and minds of the nation.
Every day we’ve seen it toted into the Excessive Courtroom, nearly gaining extra recognition than Coleen’s foot brace, or Rebekah’s deep centre parting.
You possibly can’t inform us the folks don’t look after model, even in such instances as a multi-million-pound libel case.
As we speak the bag returned for day six of the trial, with Wayne, in a swimsuit, striding defiantly, powerfully, previous photographers on the Strand with the magical service in his proper hand, a figuring out smile on his face.
He is aware of.
Not lengthy after, Rebekah arrived on the scene, accompanied by her husband, Leicester Metropolis striker Jamie Vardy, in matching blue fits – however, one factor was lacking from Jamie’s fingers.
A manbag.
Wayne’s tote, with its shiny leather-based exterior, carrying the load of a court docket case – or maybe only a Tesco meal deal – seems like some kind of metaphor for our lives proper now.
Very like the bag, are we, too, simply bulking below the stress as we attempt to maintain every thing inside?
Maybe much more intriguing was that yesterday Wayne turned as much as court docket with the bag – which appeared to carry a white folder of, which we are able to solely assume, nice significance – however was seen leaving the Excessive Courtroom with out it.
The plot thickens. It is a case for the FBI. Or…you already know…(W)Agatha Christie…
However we’re not the one ones needing to know extra, with our curiosity piqued by the mere presence of such a bag when Coleen herself – who's being sued for libel – waltzs into the court docket room every day with nothing greater than a trendy Chanel clutch bag.
You possibly can’t match a sandwich in there, that’s for positive.
The memes are actual and maybe probably the most viral of all was one which in contrast the footballer-turn-manager to a PE instructor who has to ‘train an enormous of geography’, with Wayne earlier seen carrying the bag whereas carrying a blue mac coat. You already know, similar to your favorite highschool instructor. That’s the joke.
That such tweet has had, at present depend, greater than 11,000 retweets and 176,000 likes.
However why are we so taken with this small, however hefty, accent (the bag, that's)?
Is it bringing a slight sense of glitter to an in any other case doom and gloom trendline – sure, say some on-line pundits – or is it simply one other layer in what has already proved to be a wildly baffling authorized battle between two ladies over…………..a social media submit.
Tomorrow we’ll see the trial of the century – or not less than the month – come to an in depth, however whereas we might not miss the overall hullabaloo across the court docket reporting, the day by day outfit comparisons and the overuse of ellipses in revealing any kind of information, by George we’re gonna miss that bag, child.
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