Fats Tony – actual title Tony Marnach – went from London council property to greatest mate of Kate Moss and Boy George, and one of many get together scene’s most notoriously hedonistic DJs. Since changing into sober 15 years in the past, he’s solid a profession as vogue’s go-to DJ and an LGBTQ+ activist. His new memoir, I Don’t Take Requests, charts his ascent from tough beginnings to kingpin of the 80s and 90s membership scene, his drug habit, HIV analysis, rehab and restoration. It's out now.
Fats Tony
How she is on this image is how I bear in mind Mum rising up: glamorous. All the time made an effort. I have a look at her now and suppose she’s simply as wonderful as she was again then, even when she’s shrunk a couple of inches.
I used to be such a mummy’s boy. Once I was little, I’d dig by way of her jewelry field and garments. I’d have a look at her and suppose: she’s so stunning, my dad actually doesn’t deserve her. He was supportive, however an actual large geezer and in no way who I aspired to be. I’d a lot fairly gown up like my mum.
There was by no means any want for me to return out as a homosexual to my mum. I used to run across the property in drag, so I used to be hardly making an attempt to cover it. She at all times inspired me, irrespective of how ridiculous my options have been. I went to Margate once I was six and she or he let me purchase some faux boobs. And once I was 11 she let me get my hair permed. She simply let me be whoever I needed to be.
I began clubbing once I was 14 and my circle of buddies grew actually shortly. [Boy] George would drive to my mother and father’ home so we might all get able to exit collectively. It was chaos. We’d be off our nuts and making an attempt to carry it collectively in entrance of Mum and Dad.
By the point I’d come house I’d usually need to disguise in my room. The one approach Mum discovered what I used to be getting as much as was as a result of she talked to all my buddies. George nonetheless is aware of Mum’s cellphone quantity off by coronary heart. She’d name [the hair stylist] Sam McKnight and say: “I’m frightened about Tony. Is he doing this? Is he doing that?” I attempted to maintain a number of it away from her – I knew taking medicine wasn’t the fitting factor. But it surely didn’t cease me. Most individuals have frequent sense; I've unusual sense. If somebody says: “Don’t do this! It’s actually harmful!” I’ll positively do it.
When the Aids disaster occurred, and I used to be identified with HIV, Mum was actually clued up. Partly as a result of I’d buried Tom [Hammond, Tony’s partner] and my mum supported me by way of that terrible course of. However she additionally saved up with what was occurring on the planet. Some mother and father may be in denial about their youngsters’s sexuality, particularly again then, however she wasn’t. And when it got here to discovering me dying on the ground at house on the pinnacle of my drug use, she knew precisely what to do and was by no means blinkered.
The shortage of judgment in our relationship meant I knew she would at all times help me. Every time one thing dangerous occurred, I didn’t seize a espresso or cigarette – I’d name my mum immediately. Even in the course of the worst occasions all through my crack habit, we by no means misplaced contact.
Our relationship is way stronger now I’m sober. She was at all times ready for a cellphone name to inform her that her son was lifeless. No mom ought to must stay like that. She couldn’t belief me earlier than, and now she will be able to as a result of I've no ulterior motives. I simply need her love and approval.
Daybreak
My husband took this photograph. It was in our entrance room at house and Tony was about 9 months outdated. I used to straighten my hair with an iron! I’d at all times do it, it doesn't matter what. You be taught to prepare shortly while you’ve obtained children – half an hour on the most. I needed to look the very best I might afford.
As a child, Tony was pretty much as good as gold. You didn’t even know you had him – I’d must wake him as much as feed him. Most boys have been into cowboys and indians, but when Tony had an opportunity, he’d be operating up the highway in my excessive heels. He beloved drama. All the time had an viewers round him, particularly ladies. He was into reducing everybody’s hair on the property at one level. I’d have all of the mums screaming at me.
I used to be introduced up by my grandmother as my mum disappeared with some bloke once I was little. I had a really closed-off childhood and I needed my youngsters to have whole freedom. I studied at Chelsea artwork college, and I suppose it gave me fairly a bohemian outlook: I believed that everybody needs to be themselves.
When Tony began going out I by no means frightened about him, however I did inform him: “Don’t ever stroll house by yourself at 3am. In case you haven’t obtained any cash for a cab I’ll type it out on the different finish.” He positively took benefit of that!
One time, I heard a bang on the entrance door at about 5am. I knew it was Tony – he’s at all times shedding his keys. I went down and there he was, together with a couple of different buddies – one dressed up in a black bin bag with rags in his hair. Tranny Paul [actor and Blitz Kid Paul Dawson] – who's the prettiest man I’ve ever met – was dressed up as a bunny woman. He was bending down along with his bum up within the air in the midst of the highway, making a racket. They have been all anticipating me to go mad and say: “How dare you convey my 15-year-old son house like that!” However I simply stood there laughing. I believed it was hilarious. The neighbours didn’t discover it so humorous.
I used to be a foolish mum, actually – naive. His father made him pay lease when he lived with us. Tony would give the cash to his dad, then his dad would give it to me, then I’d go and provides it again to Tony, who would spend all of it on medicine. He had this squat with George on Kings Street, and he’d go there if he was off his head. Wanting again, I didn’t actually understand how critical it was. In my day there have been purple hearts and other people smoked lots [of cannabis] however I by no means had any as a result of I didn’t like the concept of it having been in another person’s mouth.
There was a time earlier than Tony went into rehab once I visited him in his squat. Once I arrived, I couldn’t get him away from bed. He wouldn’t get up, like he’d overdosed. I believed if I referred to as an ambulance it could trigger a giant scene – I didn’t need the police or the press to seek out out. So I referred to as a personal cab firm close by; they helped me get him away from bed and we obtained him to the hospital. They took one have a look at him and rushed him away. They thought he had a mind tumour, but it surely was fluid in his mind. He was ever so sick.
Since then, I’ve been amazed at how Tony’s turned his life round. He was marvellous to me when Mick [Tony’s dad] was dying. Mick used to have an alcohol drawback – if he had a drink, you have been strolling on eggshells. However that point they spent collectively in direction of the tip took all these dangerous years away. Tony would come down each Tuesday and shave him – he wouldn’t let me do it, he took care of me in that approach.
There have been a couple of moments once I thought I used to be going to lose Tony. At one level he weighed seven stone. His enamel have been popping out. Tony’s gone proper the way in which down, however he fought his approach again up once more. He's a really sturdy character, is Tony. And I’m so very pleased with him.
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