On Ocean Drive, Miami, I as soon as met a chap referred to as Chad from South Yorkshire. He was clenching a crushed Coke can, his ankle wrapped in clingfilm. I requested him if he was OK. “Had a tattoo,” he defined. “Bloody agony.” He peeled again the cellophane to point out me a phrase in Russian: “Фрикли”. I requested him what it meant and he advised me it was the place he was from. I requested him the place he was from. “Frickley,” he stated. I inquired as to why he would need Frickley tattooed on his leg in Cyrillic. He didn’t have a solution for me.
Chad was a soccer fan, in Miami for England’s warm-up sport forward of the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. Extremely, 4 years later, I ran into him on Nikolskaya Avenue, Moscow, in the course of the 2018 World Cup in Russia. I advised him that if England received it, I’d pay for him to get “ENGLAND”, or reasonably “Англия”, tattooed on a bum cheek of his selecting. Sadly, neither occasion got here to cross.
In an analogous method, I've lengthy stated that if West Bromwich Albion received something I'd get myself tattooed with our membership crest. That has not occurred, both. This week, nevertheless, in South Yorkshire because it occurs, I needed to get a (short-term) West Brom tattoo for a component within the sitcom, Meet the Richardsons. I used to be very excited. Sadly, the make-up artist put it on again to entrance. The poor lady was mortified, however I recognized not less than two positives: first, it made the phrases look a bit Cyrillic, so put me in thoughts of my mate Chad from Frickley; second, within the mirror it regarded bloody marvellous. If and when West Brom do win something, my actual tattoo shall be occurring again to entrance, identical to this one. That method, I’ll be capable of cease and admire it correctly in each mirror, store window or shiny saucepan that I probability upon.
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