‘So the purpose right now is simply to try to get you to really hit the ball,’ says my cheery golf professional teacher, Andy, encouragingly and optimistically.
The whole lot I do know in regards to the sport might match down the facet of a golf tee – fairly shameful contemplating I grew up in Scotland, the place it originated within the fifteenth century.
Much more so, contemplating my very own dad is golf-obsessed (at his peak, his handicap was 9).
And now, with the world’s most prestigious match beginning at St Andrews this week, I determine it’s about time I attempt to grasp the fundamentals.
This would be the thirtieth time the Open – which additionally began life in Scotland –has been performed in town’s well-known Previous Course.
It sees all the highest names in golf, from Tiger Woods and Rory McIlroy to defending champion Collin Morikawa, flood to this tiny coastal college city.
These individuals earn hundreds of thousands only for hitting a small white ball right into a gap with a stick – how exhausting can it actually be?
Fairly exhausting, it seems. I’ve come to the St Andrews Hyperlinks Golf Academy for an introductory lesson (one hour from £75).
I’ve dressed the half, in unflattering saggy checked trousers. Earlier than we begin, in a partially indoor observe bay, Andy talks me by the hi-tech Trackman tools they use, which forensically analyses your each swing, from the angle you hit the ball at to its subsequent pace and course.
‘It additionally data you, so we will study your stance and physique positioning,’ he explains. ‘Even skilled professionals repeatedly use this tech to try to enhance.’
After two hours of patiently attempting to get me to bend my knees correctly, rotate my hips and preserve my wrists straight whereas trying to attach with the ball, Andy leads me out on to the neighbouring Balgove course to strive a shot on actual grass. A gap in a single? I don’t even get a gap in 20.
To melt the blow, a minimum of I’m staying right here in fashion. The elegant, Nineteenth-century Rusacks resort is the one one in St Andrews that overlooks the Previous Course’s all-important 18th gap.
Its current multimillion-pound renovation has resulted in adjustments comparable to 18, its stylish new rooftop restaurant, which presents an unimaginable view of the sweeping golden stretch of West Sands seaside, greatest identified for the opening scene of 1981 movie Chariots Of Fireplace.
I may also see throughout to the grand Victorian pile housing one of many oldest – and probably essentially the most unique – golf golf equipment on the planet, the Royal and Historical.
Over a G&T with resort supervisor Seamus, he tells me that it's a must to be proposed by no fewer than 35 individuals if you wish to be a member.
The following day, after breakfast with a ground-level view of the Previous Course within the ethereal Bridge restaurant, surrounded by excitable Individuals in luridly patterned plus-fours and golf caps, I head out by the foyer.
Over its carved wood hearth hangs a portray of Tom Morris, a former greenkeeper, golf teacher and course designer who gained 4 Open championships right here (the primary of them in 1861).
Strolling additional into city, I move the Northpoint Cafe, which has an indication in its window proudly proclaiming ‘That is the place Kate met Wills’.
As I’m not presently searching for a prince of my very own I don’t cease, as an alternative pausing to admire the remnants of the medieval cathedral, whose twin spires present a focus throughout the city, earlier than heading down in the direction of the shore.
The shoreline’s a bit of extra craggy right here, operating alongside from East Sands seaside to Fort Sands, above which the traditional ruins of St Andrews Fort perch.
Off-duty college students pose for selfies, whereas seagulls try to dive-bomb my ice cream. Again in the direction of the resort, I stroll throughout the small stone Swilcan Bridge that crosses a stream on the Previous Course to the sounds of distant cheers for a golfer who’s managed to bag a gap in a single on the 18th.
No, that can by no means be me, however I can’t consider a greater place to have tried.
Practice from London to Edinburgh from £40 a method by way of Lumo; rooms at Rusacks St Andrews from £239pn together with breakfast. For information go to theopen.com and visitscotland.com.
Not a golf fan? Discover elsewhere:
Falkland Palace
That includes one of many UK’s oldest tennis courts, it has performed host to Scottish royalty together with Mary, Queen of Scots.
It was previously a searching lodge and was expanded over the centuries into a chic renaissance palace, with acres of formal gardens.
Dunfermline
Granted official metropolis standing for the Jubilee, the traditional capital of Scotland is also called the birthplace for metal tycoon Andrew Carnegie.
You may go to his former residence and stroll by pretty Pittencrieff Park, which he donated to the city.
Kirkcaldy
Artwork lovers ought to head to this ex-royal burgh for a brand new exhibition by St Andrews-born Jack Vettriano, maybe greatest identified for The Singing Butler. This may function early work.
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