A moment that changed me: ‘A jail term for GBH felt like the end of my life – but it was also the start of a better one’

It all began in 2008, after I bought concerned in a combat in a membership whereas I used to be making an attempt to guard my sister, who had been attacked by three ladies I believed have been her mates. It was a fight-or-flight second that might finish with me in cuffs. I used to be 20 years outdated. I had by no means been in bother with the police, however I used to be charged with grievous bodily hurt with intent and spent about eight months on bail.

Being on bail looks like being in limbo. You begin shedding your id, courtroom listening to by courtroom listening to, the place individuals discuss you however you’re by no means allowed to talk, in addition to confirming your title and date of start. I spent the entire eight months on bail fearing what would occur to me in jail and being threatened by the ladies who attacked my sister.

I used to be sentenced in February 2009 to 2 and a half years in jail, aged 21, and transferred to HMP Holloway in north London. I used to be carrying an instantaneous weave, which is a wig you clip into your individual hair. After I bought to jail, a white feminine officer requested if the wig was mine and whether or not it was sewn or glued in. I used to be sincere, and instructed her it was pinned in. I want I had lied, as a result of the wig was taken from my head and zipped away in a bag. What little id I had left was stripped from me immediately.

I shortly discovered that something you do or say in jail can get you into bother. For instance, I used to be instructed by officers that the jail wasn’t a resort as a result of I complained that a meal I requested for had run out. Then I used to be threatened with the “crimson pen”, which suggests a foul file in your file. So I began writing little notes to myself to assist me take care of my feelings or future outbursts. It was a method of avoiding moving into any extra bother. Later, I confirmed the notes to mates, who instructed me I used to be writing poetry. I didn’t consider it. I instructed them it was simply my ideas, nothing critical.

Behind the wall, you realise the truth of jail. I met ladies who have been inside for shoplifting. Some may need been stealing as a result of they couldn’t afford to get their youngster one thing for Christmas. I met ladies who have been hooked on medicine; numerous ladies on methadone. I met ladies who have been screaming on a regular basis. The factor that shocked and shocked me most was the variety of individuals going out and in of jail due to the issue of navigating their lives after being inside. I've spoken to ladies who mentioned that after they have been launched they didn’t have an tackle or medical information, so that they have been extra more likely to exit and purchase medicine. In the event that they went again to jail, they at the very least had a roof over their heads. I additionally met ladies who I believed mustn't have been in jail: type, caring ladies – moms, grandmothers and sisters – who simply ended up in a foul scenario by way of no fault of their very own.

‘Prison opened my eyes to a new community of people.’
‘Jail opened my eyes to a brand new neighborhood of individuals.’

I spent 11 months in jail after which 5 months tagged. Inside, I confronted racism and needed to adapt to outlive. Regardless of being a British passport holder, I used to be transferred from Holloway to a jail for international nationals that had no black or brown officers, in addition to the gate officer who had no contact with us. Right here my Ugandan heritage was weaponised towards me. I used to be threatened with deportation after guards claimed they might not confirm my nationality – regardless that I had been cleared by immigration. The one method I felt I might combat this was with a starvation strike.

After my launch, I spent years looking for my method again into society. I looked for individuals like me, keen to talk out concerning the justice system, to assist me show that jail is not any vacation camp, and that there could be life after being launched. That was after I discovered about Nationwide Jail Radio and bought in contact. They have been the primary individuals to say sure to me – after years of getting used to listening to no, it got here as a shock. It was the primary time I used to be seen for greater than my crime and it started my journey into broadcasting.

Jail opened my eyes to a brand new neighborhood of individuals I believed I might by no means relate to. I've gone from being the woman subsequent door to an inmate, then a poet, award-winning broadcaster and now an creator. These are all issues I'd by no means have believed I’d have the ability to do.

In 2021, after I was nominated for greatest host on the Audio Manufacturing awards, I used to be sitting within the inexperienced room with my greatest buddy, being handled like a VIP, ingesting free booze. I keep in mind asking the organisers if I wanted to return into the auditorium and everybody telling me to take my time, simply calm down. Then all of a sudden I heard somebody working in the direction of the inexperienced room. It sounded just like the officers who got here working down the wing in jail when there was bother. Solely this time there was no bother, only a very out-of-breath man who needed to dash to come back and discover me to inform me I had gained.

Girl Unchained hosts a platform for artists with expertise of the prison justice system

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