Sex with my husband is amazing – so why doesn’t he orgasm?

My husband and I not too long ago acquired married. He was a virgin on the time and I am puzzled by the truth that he doesn’t ejaculate or orgasm. He assures me that he likes our time collectively however I fear he might have some underlying difficulty that he ought to get checked out. The intercourse is superb for me as I've a number of orgasms however we need to have kids and I'm scared that won't occur simply.

There are methods to conceive with out intercourse and climax. However when it comes to his sexual well being, it might be necessary to know if he has ever ejaculated (maybe whereas sleeping?) or had an orgasm. If not, he ought to actually have a checkup. However some folks – for instance, those that grew up in households the place there was a extremely punitive angle in the direction of growing sexuality – don't naturally glean an understanding of their sexual selves, or uncover how their genitals work by means of self-exploration and masturbation. Such folks often should find out about their sexual responses as adults, and making love with an grownup companion will be difficult. Attempt to begin a really light, non-threatening dialog with him that may start: “I actually love having intercourse with you, but it surely appears somewhat bit one-sided so I'm interested by what precisely provides you pleasure?” Maybe you possibly can collectively uncover the reply.

  • Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual problems.

  • If you want recommendation from Pamela on sexual issues, ship us a quick description of your considerations to personal.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t ship attachments). Every week, Pamela chooses one downside to reply, which will likely be printed on-line. She regrets that she can't enter into private correspondence. Submissions are topic to our phrases and circumstances: see gu.com/letters-terms.

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